"I'm late...I'm late!"

Many a timely person has been angered and/or irritated by a friend, co-worker or client who repeatedly shows up 5, 15, 20 minutes late to appointments, meetings, playdates.  They believe the wrongdoer exudes the arrogance of "my time is more important than yours" and takes the offense personally.  Rarely is this the case.  More often than not, it is actually the offender themselves who feel inferior.  I am one of those people consistently late for everything, (I was even 15 minutes late for my own wedding--my husband thought I had caught cold feet!) and I can tell you it truly DOES NOT come from some power play directed towards others. Where I do think chronic lateness may come from is a power play directed at yourself; the desire to control your own world as well as the constant need to fill every hour of the day with as much activity as possible. (with a dash of scattered, unorganized thoughts thrown in for good measure) I have tried everything externally...from setting my clocks ahead to "trick" myself, (my subconscious self always reminds me I've alloted extra time and I find more ways to use that extra 15 min) to asking my husband to please push me harder to get out the door. (turns out, I end up getting annoyed with him for trying to help!) It makes me mad at myself that I never seem to make it on time places and I am sure that it is silently whittling away the part of my self esteem that claims to be a mature, responsible adult. When I work outside the home, I am so deathly afraid of it undermining my great work ethic, I've actually made my self wake up at 3:30/4 am just to ensure I will be ready to roll out the door an hour + earlier than necessary. As you can see, if this was a daily routine, it would surely take its toll on my health as well. Friends and people who know me "understand" my time management challenges, and know I'd never keep them waiting out of disrespect for them or their time, but it still dismays me to think I am receiving their grace for a reputation of guilelessly having my head in the clouds. Lateness is not something the guilty find powerful, in fact, more often it makes one feel incredibly powerLESS.  


So what is there to do when it seems all options are exhausted?  Well, short of therapy, I have found a few sneaky ways to improve my timeliness.  (note that these do not improve time management)  


1.  When making Dr. appointments, write an earlier time than the actual appointment in your calendar.  15, 30, 45 minutes...or go crazy and choose any random number!  (keeping in mind lateness, always make this number at LEAST 15) When I do this, I change it each time so that my clever subconscious has no concrete number from which to calculate additional minutes of free time.  This means quickie Starbucks runs are out out of the question because I rarely can remember what kind of allotment I've given myself.  (how's THAT for Jedi Mindtricks?) 


2.  Tell your friends/family to purposely give you an earlier time to parties/functions.  (without informing you) If they're worried you'll end up showing TOO early, tell them to ask you to pick something up for them on the way.  This will definitely set you back just enough to possibly arrive right on time!  Make sure they, also, change this number up, or your savvy brain will soon associate the person with a certain amount of leeway time.  (Jane=a 20 minute fake-out, Dad=an hour...you get the picture)


3.  Find a reason to get somewhere earlier.  Does your Dentist's office have great celeb gossip magazines that you'd feel frivolous subscribing to?  Show up early to get your People/US Weekly/InTouch fix.  Does your manager bring in doughnuts first thing every morning, but there's only plain cake ones by the time you get there?  Wouldn't you love to snag that first eclair?  If you're the betting type, make a bet with someone that you'll be there before them.  (last one there buys the first round!) Make it a little more enticing to arrive on time by adding an extra incentive.  

All in all, TRY.  Cheap parlor tricks, although inspiring, leave much to be desired in your own psyche.  Do you really want to spend your life deceiving yourself just to be on time?  Put the effort in everyday to commit yourself to change and slowly you will develop habits that will make a real difference in your life.  Wanting to be better will, eventually, make you better...it's a matter of practice makes perfect.  Reach high, grab that eclair!


A favorite writer of mine has a great blog for organizing (both inside and out)  I actually have it set as my home page to "infuse" her lovely sense of zen into my own life.  Commenting on a recent post of hers is what inspired me to do this one.  Check her out:  www.juliemorgenstern.com/blog/

Watch your thoughts, for they become words.
Watch your words, for they become actions.
Watch your actions, for they become habits.
Watch your habits, for they become character.
Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny.