LETTING GO

There are times when you feel attached.  Attached to a thing, attached to a person, an ideal or belief.  

Today I sold Sebastien's beautiful little Netto crib.  Something that, on a more superficial level, I was attached to.  It represented my belief that little people should be surrounded by items of the same quality a grown-up would like, (poo-poo on those who get mad at them for "ruining" something---it's called "adding character," dammit!) as well as my own style and love for a great bargain.  (I bought the designer piece for about 1/2 of what it sold for retail--- gotta love Ebay!)

Although I would have loved to bring his little bed with us, it would have proved a pain to properly pack and then hope/pray/cross our fingers that it would make the cross-country excursion amidst bumps and lumps on those oh-so-smooth highways & county roads.  It wasn't a "need", so I let it go...(single tear :)  I know I'll find something just as cool, just as "defining" and for just as great of a bargain later....

Okay, okay....not a real "feat" I know, but it made me think of all the things we hold onto that aren't a need and sometimes are even a threat to our well-being.  Who hasn't loved someone (or known someone who has) that is an obvious bad fit, but they just couldn't bring themselves to leave?  Who has had such an attachment to the idea of something, (a certain lifestyle, a fantasy of a "perfect" life, a way that someone else should act) and their inability to control it makes them feel inadequate or angry.   Perhaps you have experienced the feeling of attachment to an item...your favorite teddy when you were a toddler, your beautiful watch....a car.  Or maybe it is an unforgiven slight....something someone did that you "just cannot forget!"

I think about things I have lost that were valuable to me, broken items that were once so precious that daggers would come out of my eyes if I saw someone within 10 feet of the shelf they were on.   I think of people who have hurt me, intentionally or unintentionally & how I've let thoughts of their unkindness consume an entire day.  I think of ideals I held about how I thought life, (mine and others') "should" be....ways in which I imagined I would react to things my child could/would do.   When it all comes down to it....do I really want to hold on so hard that I am devastated when things inevitably change amidst the bumps and lumps of life's highway?  Or do I let them go so I can welcome other experiences, beliefs & things that are just as cool, just as defining and for just as much as I'm willing to pay for them?  

When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be.   -Lao Tzu